


Mr. Barnes

by sweaterbarnes



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Getting Together, I really did, I tried to make it crack, M/M, actor!bucky, boss!Bucky, matchmaker!Natasha, nod to Shakespeare, receptionist!Natsha, secretary!Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-17 21:39:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3544718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweaterbarnes/pseuds/sweaterbarnes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tall man with dark brown hair tied back into a bun was sitting cross-legged on the desk, a box of donuts in his lap and one donut stuffed in his mouth. He was staring right back at Steve like a deer in the headlights, crumbs falling out of his mouth as he blinked rapidly.</p><p>"...Mr. Barnes?" Steve asked hesitantly, not sure if he should go or stay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mr. Barnes

~~~~~~

Steve straightened his tie nervously and brushed off his suit before knocking hesitantly on the office door. He had just been hired for this secretary gig and he really didn't want to meet his new boss. According to every other employee he had talked to since he walked in this morning Mr. Barnes was an ass. He glared constantly, rarely gave sick days, yelled at everyone when something went wrong, and every secretary he's ever had has quit after a few days, the longest anyone's ever lasted is a week. Steve adjusted his tie again and swallowed. Should he go inside? Would that be rude? Mr. Barnes hadn't answered the door so maybe he wasn't in, but the receptionist, an intimidating red head with a frankly terrifying smile, said he was in his office...Steve shrugged, braced himself, and opened the door only to stop in his tracks,staring in wide-eyed shock at the sight before him. A tall man with dark brown hair tied back into a bun was sitting cross-legged on the desk, a box of donuts in his lap and one donut stuffed in his mouth. The man was staring right back at Steve like a deer in the headlights, crumbs falling out of his mouth as he blinked rapidly.

"...Mr. Barnes?" Steve asked hesitantly, not sure if he should go or stay. 

"Yes and who are you?" he said, spitting the last piece of donut into a napkin and putting away the box. Still sitting on the desk, he placed his elbows on his knees and gave Steve a once-over, scoffing and sliding back into his chair. Steve blinked slowly, this wasn't what he had been expecting at all, from what he had heard he had been expecting a burly man with a beard and a harsh gaze. What he had not been expecting was a slender, handsome man with a prosthetic arm and a bun stuffing donuts into his mouth. "Are you going to answer me or are you just going to stand there like an idiot?"

"Oh! Right, I'm Steve Rogers, your new secretary," Steve said quickly, closing the door and sitting down in the chair in front of Mr. Barnes' desk. 

"Hm, Natasha said you would be here today. Tell me, Rogers, do you always burst into a man's office without knocking like that or am I just special?" He asked, leaning forward and steepling his fingers under his chin. 

"You didn't answer when I knocked and I got concerned!" Steve said defensively. Then, with a glance to the bright pink donut box, he muttered, "Obviously I didn't need to worry."

"What was that?" Mr. Barnes asked, looking up sharply. Steve smirked and shook his head.

"Oh, nothing."

"Hm. Well, it was nice meeting you but, since I have been without a secretary for almost a week now, I have a fair amount of paperwork that needs doing and meetings to be scheduled and whatnot so," he waved his hand towards the door in a shooing motion, "get to work. Natasha has a list of jobs for you so swing by her desk on the way out to get me my coffee."

Steve nodded and stood up to leave but before he left he turned and asked, "Do you want some more napkins or can you handle the donuts on your own?" Bucky stared at him in surprise for a moment then glowered.

"I think I'll be fine, Rogers," He muttered, turning to his laptop, studiously ignoring Steve. Steve snorted and closed the door behind him. He smirked the whole elevator ride down to the lobby. he had seen the edges of the blush Mr. Barnes had been trying to hide.

~~~~~~

"HeyNatashacan'ttalkthreeminutesawayfrombeinglate," Steve said as he rushed past her desk, straightening his tie and grabbing the cup of coffee she was holding out. He gave her an appreciative nod and pushed the "up" button repeatedly. 

"I'm impressed, Steve. It's been a week and you haven't quit, you're officially the best secretary Mr. Barnes has ever had. Congratulations on your survival...would you like some help with those?" Natasha asked, watching him sniff the coffee to make sure it was the right kind and rifle through the stack of folders in his arms with an amused glint in her eyes. Steve rolled his eyes and slipped into the elevator the second the doors opened. He pressed the button for the top floor and smoothed his hair back and adjusted his tie again. The elevator shuddered to a halt, making him almost spill the coffee, but he righted the cup and stepped out and onto the hard tile of the hall. Pausing at the door to Mr. Barnes' office Steve tightened the lid on the coffee, plastered a cheerful grin on his face, and strode into the room.

"Gooood mornin' sir!" Steve exclaimed, waving the coffee cup under his boss' nose and dropping the pile of papers on his desk. "I have the files you requested on the Rosenberg case and a list of your meetings for today. I canceled the one meeting with Mr. Wilson at 2 o'clock but it is rescheduled for next week so be sure to have your things in order. Is there anything else I can get you sir?" he asked cheerfully, internally reveling at the glower he was receiving.

"You could stop being so damn peppy in the morning, it's unnatural," Mr. Barnes groused, glancing over the files and taking a huge gulp of the coffee. Steve scoffed, shaking his head at his grumpy attitude.

"It's not my fault you're not a morning person, sir, can't be helped. Now, is there anything else I can do for you because I have a few errands to run before the first meeting of the day," Steve asked, resisting the urge to cross his arms and tap his foot to hurry him along.

"No, I think that's all," Mr. Barnes said, putting his coffee down and turning to face his laptop, effectively dismissing Steve. Steve rolled his eyes and left, missing the quiet, "Thank you," as he shut the door behind him.

~~~~~~

Steve scrubbed a hand down his face and glared at his phone as he changed the calendar for the third time in the past day. Mr. Barnes had mouthed off in his last meeting with Mr. Stark which resulted in a huge argument and now he was making Steve cancel any and all meetings for the next two days. All he had said was, "I'm not in the mood to discuss business," and slammed the door to his office behind him. 

"Having fun?" Natasha asked, her heels clacking on the tile as she walked past Steve towards the front door.

"Were you aware that our boss is an ass who doesn't care how his actions affect others?" Steve asked shoving his phone back in his pocket after he hit "save" on the calendar, hoping Mr. Barnes wouldn't message him with yet another change he wanted Steve to make. Natasha laughed and pulled on her coat.

"Give him a break, Steve. He's just stressed right now, he has a lot on his mind. If we give him some time he'll back down, trust me. I've known him for almost ten years, I know how he works," she told Steve kindly, patting him on the shoulder before leaving the building. Steve sighed and shook his head, he didn't think Mr. Barnes was capable of not being an ass but, oh well. Maybe there was some hope. Shrugging to himself he grabbed his jacket and left, grabbing his umbrella before running out into the rain.

~~~~~~ 

Natasha slid up to Steve's desk and plopped down on top of the forms he was filling out. Sighing, he carefully put his pen to the side, leaned back in his chair, and gave her a stern glare, crossing his arms and tapping his fingers on the desk.

"What do you want, Nat?" Natasha reached into her pocket and pulled out a slightly crumpled piece of stiff paper.

"I have an extra ticket for the play I'm going to see tonight, any interest in coming with me?" She asked, waving the ticket in front of his face until he sighed and grabbed it. Steve rolled his eyes when he saw the title of the play.

"Romeo and Juliet? Seriously Natasha?"

"I know, I know. It's overused and cheesy, but the version I'm going to see tonight is actually really interesting," Natasha said excitedly, her face lighting up. "They're performing in an old theatre and they've redone the inside to look similar to the Globe. And, get this, the cast is all men, like it would've been in Shakespeare's time. This play is going to be as close to seeing Romeo and Juliet in it's original form as you may ever get, Steve, please go with me." Steve sighed and twirled the ticket between his fingers. After a minute he gave and pocketed the ticket. 

"Okay I'll go with you, if only to stop that weird, pouty thing you're doing with your lip," he said, gently nudging her off the desk and returning to his paperwork. "Now go away, these forms need to be done or Mr. Barnes' is going to give me that disappointed glare that makes you feel really inadequate, know the one?"

Natasha laughed a little. "Can't say I've never been on the receiving end of a few scathing glares from him in my time." She paused, giving Steve an odd look before asking, "Mr. Barnes? You don't call him by his first name? You've lasted the longest of any of his other secretaries I would've thought he had told you his name by now."

Steve sent a brief glance to his boss' closed door down the hall before shaking his head and saying, "No, he hasn't told me. I swear, at this point I'm convinced it's Bobby Joe or Hubert or something like that. I can't think of any other reason for refusing to tell someone your first name." Natasha gave him a small smile and patted his shoulder.

"Well, I'm sure all will be revealed soon," she said, heels clacking as she strode towards the elevator.

"That's not cryptic whatsoever, thanks for the help Nat!" Steve called irritatedly, frowning when she waved and disappeared into the elevator without another word. Slumping back in his chair he pulled out the ticket and fingered it thoughtfully, maybe this play wouldn't be so bad if it was really as interesting as it sounded.

~~~~~~

To Steve's surprise, the theatre was gorgeous. Thick wooden doors opened to a huge seating area and a square stage covered the back wall. A balcony supported by rough wooden poles wound around the top of the room, banners with the logo of the acting company printed on them dangling off the edge. The roof had been removed and a light breeze made the banners flutter. Natasha pulled Steve over to the stairs to the balconies. Apparently she knew one of the actors and had gotten her tickets early so she would have good seating. The balconies were lined with hard wood chairs with cushions on the seats. As soon as Steve had settled into his seat Natasha had dumped her bag and jacket into his lap and patted him on the head, telling him to stay while she went to the bathroom. The rows of seating below him began to fill fairly quickly and Steve busied himself with making up stories about the people who were filing in. Just as he was getting to the description of how the elderly woman in the front row killed her targets from her life as a spy when a man in a costume and a ridiculous hat, the feather protruding from the top was almost as long as his arm, walked on stage and announced that the play would begin in about two minutes. Natasha slipped into her seat just as the characters began to file on stage and grabbed her purse, pulling out her phone and shooting a text to someone before powering it off and settling back in her chair to watch the show. 

Steve was thoroughly surprised when the actor playing Juliet came on stage. He had been expecting a young, thin, teenager, someone who looked more feminine than the man who came onto stage. He had strong arms that were covered by long sleeves and silk gloves hid what looked like fairly large hands. He wasn't so muscled that he looked like a bodybuilder but they were still larger than he had been expecting. His brown hair had been curled and pulled up into a bun, a few loose hairs framing his face. White makeup covered his face, giving him an almost ethereal look when paired with the red lipstick, blush enhanced cheekbones, and long eyelashes painted with mascara. Steve was even more floored when the man opened his mouth. A feminine voice spoke the lines in a lilting tone, each word clear and strong no matter how soft or loud he was. Steve spent so much of the play staring at the man and how elegantly he moved across the stage in the tight dress he was wearing that just accentuated his tight waist that he barely kept track of the rest of the story, completely ignoring almost ninety percent of the other actor's lines and movements. He gasped softly at the death scene, garnering a smirk from Natasha that he brushed off in favor of staring at the prone form of the man, dress spilling over his legs and hair tumbling out of the bun and onto his shoulders. 

Natasha had to physically pull him out of his chair and out of his trance once the play ended, snorting when he glanced around, bewildered and disoriented. 

"Wha-?"

"I guess you really liked the play, hm? Or was it just a certain...Juliet?" Natasha asked teasingly, nudging him in the side and wiggling her eyebrows. Steve flushed and shoved her lightly on the shoulder.

"Shut up I just-I just appreciated his talent and excellent performance," he said desperately, pouting when she laughed. 

"Mhm, his talent wasn't the only thing you were appreciating," She said sarcastically, pushing open the door to the lobby. Steve grumbled but reluctantly followed her out of the house. He stopped in his tracks when he saw the actors walking around the lobby, shaking hands with the audience members and laughing, some were even still in partial costume. Natasha had made a beeline for one particular actor in the corner, pulling him into a tight hug and clapping him on the shoulder, laughing loudly at something he said and motioning for Steve to come join her. He hurried over and swallowed nervously when he saw a very recognizable loose bun and pale white face.

"Steve I want you to meet my best friend Bucky," Natasha exclaimed gleefully, spinning the man around and shoving him slightly towards Steve. He had an easy smile on his still painted face which slipped as soon as he saw Steve. Steve stepped back slightly, gawking at the man before him.

"Mr. Barnes?" He squeaked, eyes zipping from his boss' terrified face to Natasha's smug one and back again.

Bucky turned on Natasha and growled, "What did I say about bringing coworkers to my shows, Nat? What. Did. I. Say."

"Aw, but Buck I thought you'd want to Steve to see just how _talented_ you are," she said sarcastically, patting his chest and not flinching even though he was towering over her and glowering with all his might. He sighed, slumped his shoulders, and turned back to Steve when he realized she wasn't going to back down. He squeezed his eyes shut and crossed his arms defensively over his chest.

"Go ahead," he said sharply, "best to just get it over with now than to wait and bring it up later." Steve cocked his head curiously.

"Get what over with?" He asked, confused.

"The laughter! The mocking, the jokes, whatever the hell else you want to do just get it over with!" Steve gaped for a moment before smiling softly.

"I'm not going to mock you, Mr. Barnes, quite the opposite in fact. You were excellent, I couldn't keep my eyes off you. You delivered your lines so well and I was mesmerized by the way you moved across that stage back there. If I'm being honest, none of the other actors were as good as you were tonight," he gushed, not seeing the shocked look on Bucky's face. Natasha elbowed Bucky and wiggled her eyebrows, snickering when he shoved her a little and rolled his eyes.  Steve flushed, looking at his shoes when he realized how animated he had gotten. Natasha poked Bucky again and motioned for him to say something when she realized he wasn't going to do something on his own. He silently tried to protest but he backed down and cleared his throat awkwardly when Natasha gave him a glare that was far scarier than anything he could dish out. Steve's head whipped up and he gave Bucky a hopeful look.

"Thank you," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck and not meeting Steve's eyes. He was suddenly very glad that his face was caked with white makeup so Steve couldn't see the furious blush on his cheeks. 

"You're welcome, Mr. Barnes."

"Steve, please, you've seen me in a corset, makeup, and heels; I think you can call me Bucky." Steve nodded furiously, making Natasha snort and turn around so the two couldn't see her trying to stifle her laughter. 

"Alright Mr. Bar-I mean Bucky," Steve said, smiling widely and breaking the tension. Bucky grinned right back and moved a little closer.

"So, now that you've seen me at my worst...," he hesitated before continuing, "would you like to go get dinner after I get this makeup off?" Steve's eyes widened in surprise but he quickly smiled and nodded happily.

"I would love to." Bucky patted him on the shoulder and gave Natasha a quick hug before leaving for the dressing rooms. She turned to Steve and shook her head, clicking her tongue in disapproval.

"I can't believe I had to resort to this to get you two to go on a date."

"Wait, you were setting us up?" He asked, bewildered.

"Of course, you two are obviously hot for each other, why wouldn't I set you up?" She asked, patting him on the cheek before shouldering her purse and walking to the front door. "When you come in tomorrow I want all the juicy details...not too juicy though, he's still my best friend and I don't need that image in my head," she called before letting the door slam shut behind her.

~~~~~~

 

 


End file.
